When your child gets their first heart attack, see it as an opportunity to teach him some love tips, adapted to his age and always in a framework of equality regardless of gender.
When I heard six-year-old Samantha laughing conspiratorially about a friend of hers who is in love, I fell from the clouds. Of course, experts say that such conversations are normal.
“Your child is beginning to understand that sex is permanent, that is, if he or she is a girl now, growing up she will become a woman,” says Aron Janssen, clinical director of the sex and sexuality service at the University of New York Children’s Study Center. Thus, we have the result that children play the roles of “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”, just as they can play “teacher” or “chef”.
“The issue is how you handle these first situations,” adds Dr. Janssen. Let’s look at some hypothetical scenarios that may occur and possible parental responses to them.
Scenario # 1
Your child tells you he has a boy.
The best approach: Ask what that means.
“Even though there is a lot of talk about boyfriends at this age, they are all very innocent,” says clinical psychologist Paul Donahue. Having a “boy” child can mean from sitting side by side at lunch to becoming friends on trips. We do not need to equate childhood relationships with those of adults, even when you do it between serious and funny.
You can say something like this:
# 1 “It’s perfect to have a boyfriend who is a boy.”
# 2 “It’s great to have someone you feel special about.”
Scenario # 2
Catch your son trying to kiss a girl.
The best approach: Talk about it in person.
You do not want to be frustrated if you cannot get the right pitch so invest in a good capo. When you are alone try something like this:
# 1 “I know you like Sophie a lot, but there are better ways to show her how you feel.”
# 2 You can suggest even more ‘adult’ approaches, such as making their own handshake or making a painting of it.
Scenario # 3
Your daughter is having a party, and she goes to her room alone with a boy.
The best approach: Do not jump to conclusions.
Children at this age are very curious about their bodies. However, they learn from an early age to respect the other person’s privacy. So “playing the doctor” will hardly happen to children who have passed infancy.
You can say something like this:
# 1 “Leave the door to the room open”
Of course, if there is too much silence or one of the children closes the door, it could mean that they are doing something they should not do – such as jumping on the bed or playing candy war.
Scenario # 4
Your son describes a girl as “sexy”
The best approach: Migrate it early.
Kids will steal such phrases from YouTube videos, TV commercials or their older siblings. They do not necessarily know what that means, says Sharon Lamb, a professor of counseling psychology at the University of Massachusetts.
Answers like this are always helpful:
# 1 “What other compliments do you want to give to your girlfriend? Why don’t you say something about how he paints or how he sings? “
# 2 “These words are used by adults, and not even everyone.”
Tell us your opinion on how you found the tips and if you would complete one…
Source: parents.com
Writes Gina Bevinetto Feld